4 Things No One Tells You about Being a Stay at Home Mom
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1. You don’t have as much time as you think.
Between caring for your child, doing housework and getting some time for you, your day is filled pretty quick. Plus, if you also work from home, oh man! I was surprised by this when I first started staying home with my baby and a lot of other people believe that if you’re a stay at home mom, you have all the extra time to do things.
Making the most of your time as a stay at home mom:
– Get up an hour earlier: Depending on your situation and how old your baby is this may not be possible but if you can make it a priority to get up early, it’s so worth it. During this time, you can practice gratitude while you sip coffee, get a workout in or just sit in silence. It’s so nice to have time for YOU!
– Write out what you need to accomplish that day: My to-do lists used to be overwhelmingly long and I would never know where to start. So I started to take some time at the beginning of the month to write down what I want to accomplish that MONTH. Then from that list, I’d write out what I wanted to accomplish each week. And again, from that weekly list, I’d break it down by day. This plan has totally helped my productivity and as an enneagram 3 it makes me feel accomplished for everything that I have gotten done instead of focusing on the big list and things I didn’t get done.
– Do what you can WITH your baby: If you’re always doing housework while your baby is napping, you’re going to burn out and never feel like you have any time for you. So, do what you can with your baby! I like to pick up things around the house, do laundry and do dishes while he’s up or while he’s eating! (Of course he can feed himself now so that makes things a little easier!)
2. Being a stay at home mom can be lonely.
Having time with your little one is SO special but it can also be lonely, especially if your baby isn’t talking or doing much yet.
When you feel lonely:
– Sign up for a mommy and me class: Check your local area to see if there is a mommy and me class you can sign up for. You could try something like a music class, swimming, Gymboree or check your recreational center near you.
– Join a community of other moms: In my area, we have a mothers group on Facebook. Search your area for moms groups!
– Start a passion project: It can feel less lonely when you have something you’re passionate about and ways to connect with other women and moms. A passion project could be a blog or a podcast, maybe a side hustle. Put yourself out there, you never know who you could impact!
If you’re interested in starting a side hustle around health and fitness, I’d love to share some information about what I do and how you can get started with me! Fill out my application here.
3. Sometimes you will only feel like you’re a stay at home mom.
BUT you are more than just a stay at home mom. You are YOU and you are here to make an impact in this world.
When you feel like you’re JUST a mom:
– Do something that you enjoy doing: You were you before becoming a mom. What did you like to do before SAHM life took over? Do that! What are your hobbies? How can you practice self-care? Even if it’s 10 minutes! Enjoy every second of those minutes and remember what it feels like to be you and not JUST mom.
– Get out of the house: Just because you’re a “stay at home” mom doesn’t mean you have to stay at home! Get out, get a change of scenery, you will feel refreshed! Go to the park, the library, to lunch, and enjoy being out of the house!
4. Just because you’re a stay at home mom does not mean your house will be clean all the time.
This was a hard one for me to accept because I like things very clean and organized and I figured since I’ll be home, everything will be done all the time. Well, this is far from the truth and it is OKAY!
When you want the house to be clean:
– Do what you can when your little one is awake: Find a system that works for you but if you are able (and if it makes you happy) do what you can while they’re up! Then, you won’t feel like you’re playing catch up and constantly cleaning once they’re napping. That way you can get a little YOU time!
– Get them involved (if they’re able): I’ve started singing the clean up song when it’s time to clean up some toys or transition to a new room or activity. (Of course at this time, Beckham isn’t actually helping with the clean up but I know eventually he will!) What ways can you get your child involved in helping with the clean up/chores?
– Set aside certain times to clean/do chores: Set a daily schedule and only clean up or do housework during the time you allowed. When it’s over, be done because there is ALWAYS something you could be doing. Also set aside certain times to do things for YOU!
– Be okay with it not being perfect: This is a hard one for me! When I went to work, I got out of the house and didn’t have the dishes staring at me in the sink. Now, I notice when things are not how I want them and I’m working on being okay with it. If you have a hard time with this too, having a space to go like a home office is helpful! There you can focus on other things than what needs to be done around the home.
Being a stay at home mom is a tough job but also a very rewarding one. Know that you’re not alone in whatever you’re feeling. I’d love to connect either here or on Instagram (danielle_m_godfrey_)
What other things did you expect or not expect when becoming a stay at home mom?